First Birthday

Ashton turned one on Wednesday. An entire year has passed since I sheepishly went into the hospital, not really knowing why but feeling off. Those first few days in the hospital had me anxious to get out and get home to be with my family. There were many nights when I didn't sleep enough. There was a lot of frustration over balancing my attention between a newborn, toddler, and husband. Not to mention time to myself. We adjusted though. It wasn't always graceful. In fact, I remember a lot of yelling and tears. I remember so many tender moments too though - countless hours nursing, rocking, cuddling, and kissing that boy. Oh man, the kisses!

The greatest thing about this year has been really getting to know Ashton though. He's our wild child - fearless and curious. He's climbing everything in sight and always ready to go. He claps and smiles. He knows when he's about to do something he shouldn't and laughs or smirks when you tell him to stop. He's saying a ton (but mostly baby babble). Mostly he's asking "whatsat?" or he wants to go "ouside".

I love him fiercely and know it'll just grow as I get to know him more.

Berry Picking

We went berry picking exactly one month before Ashton's arrival and I just never got around to posting it. And OH MAN, look at Cohen! I think this was just before Nathan cut Cohen's hair and got rid of the awesome long part in the front (I was so upset when he did it) and he just looks to different to me here. He looks so young! How could he change so much in just a few months?

Anyway, we found a farm not too far from home and got to picking! I was heavily pregnant, and basically dragged my body along the rows. Cohen would run back and forth between us, having the time of his life. It was a tough day for Nathan, as his ankle was still healing. The day was great though, and Cohen and I both ate a ton :)

Some adorable baby (or so he seems to me) photos of Cohen below!

Eating pizza in the car. Guhh, look at those eyes.

I do really miss that hair!

Notice the colour of the strawberry in his hand. We constantly had to sort through the berries he was putting in our baskets. 

That mess though :)

Baby Boy (again)!

At 3:57 AM on August 2nd a tiny little boy was placed in my arms. As I waited for his cries, I felt the overwhelming fear/joy/love that a parent feels. This time I knew just how much I would love this little guy.

The day before I woke up feeling off, and as the day progressed I felt worse and worse. We had planned to have family over for dinner but I was totally useless and all the prepwork was left to Nathan. After dinner (I had very little) I got up and felt a really intense contraction. Then another. But they weren't consistent, so I tried to brush it off. My sister and law saw me hiding in the bedroom. She convinced me that we should go to the hospital - just to be sure.

Before we left, I went to grab the hospital bag and Nathan asked if we really needed to bring it. Luckily I insisted.

Ashton Quinn was born 6 pounds 1 ounce, measuring 50 cm long. He came six days early and was a little small, but passed all the tests. He's perfect.

Babymoon II

We'd planned to visit family down in Michigan for a couple days before the new baby arrived, but my pregnancy brain kicked in to ruin it. My passport had expired, forcing us to stay in the country.

Since I had already taken time off from work, Nathan and I each spent a few hours searching the internet for other options - Groupons to Niagara Falls, a couple days in Ottawa or Montreal - but finally settled on cabin camping a few hours north of the city.

We drove up Saturday morning, grabbing groceries and other supplies along the way, and arrived in the early afternoon. We took some time to check out the site. There was a fire pit next to our cabin, a little area on the lake for fishing, and a playground that Cohen soon became obsessed with.

It was nice to get away for days, and I am so glad we chose to stay in cabins rather than tents. My pregnant self would have hated sleeping on the ground.

Scroll down for some shots from our trip :)

Eeep, typical family photo -  a little awkward but I'm glad we took it!

Who Taught Them This?

Tonight Cohen seemed so grown up to me. There was just another glimpse into the coming years with this kid. I can see he's not going to make it easy, but he's definitely going to make it fun.

He's had a tough couple of days. I'm not sure why - because he's normally happy about it - but over this past week, he has cried and screamed about being left at bedtime, at school, and at nursery. He hugs me so tight and refuses to let go, sobbing over his words. I have to admit, a couple times I held him a little longer than necessary simply because it was nice to feel so loved and needed. He's growing up fast, and he often bids me farewell with a, "bye, mommy," while waving a hand and looking in the other direction.

Tonight he had one of these fits. I nearly fell for it, worrying if something is wrong - he isn't feeling well or he's feeling sad. He so quickly turns his mood though, the second he feels safe from whatever he's trying to avoid. As he's (still, somehow) potty training, I rushed him into the bathroom when he told me he needed to go, mid tears. Suddenly, he was having a ball. He was asking about everything in the room, poking my leg and giggling, almost carrying on a big kid conversation with me. At one point he told me he wanted his water, and asked me to get it from "in my bedroom." He didn't seem upset at all.

Once he was done (and he legitimately did need to go, thank goodness), the fit returned, this time, insisting that he sleep in "daddy's bed."

Where do kids learn these tactics? He has no older siblings to example this behaviour and I doubt he and his friends have the language skills to conspire at school. How great is it that it appears to be an innate human skill... Yet, somehow I'm infinitely proud and love him more than anything.

Oh, and if you're wondering if he ever did get to bed? Yes. I felt defeated, so his father went in with him, and from what I heard from the next room over, Cohen didn't protest at all. Figures.

Mornings Lately

A couple nights ago Cohen periodically woke up from coughing, he would chat to himself about puppies and chocolate, and then drifting back to sleep. But at 5 AM, he woke up for good - crying and yelling for us to come get him. When I opened his door, I found a tear streaked boy with snot all over his sad face. He was coughing up a fit. After gathering his clothes for the day, I brought him downstairs where we joined Nathan back in bed. But he continued to cough and wipe at his nose. We saw what looked like a little blood. As I was beginning to worry, Nathan pointed out that it looked like he was about to throw up. This cemented my thought that it might be best if I call the health line for a little direction and reassurance.

After being on the phone, answering a slew of questions about Cohen's breathing, couching, and eating habits (and being told he essentially had a cold) , I felt overwhelmingly grateful. Sure, he was feeling awful and acting cranky (and we were all in need of a little extra sleep) but he is an overall healthy kid. The nurse had asked so many questions about his history or medical problems or concerns and I responded no to every single one. What a blessing!

These early mornings, when the sun hasn't yet come up and my toes freeze as I tip toe through the house to him, can be tough. I usually let out a big sigh of defeat as I haul myself out of bed. I want nothing more than to stay cozy in bed during these cold Winter months. I'm reminded how lucky I am to have this time with him. Whether I'm cramped on a kiddie chair eating breakfast at a kiddie table with him or rushing to get ready for work while he watches Paw Patrol next to me (shouting "puppy!" or repeating random words), it's a good way to start the day. Together.

 He had so much fun running around in the cleared-out mid-renovated kitchen.

Can you believe this gorgeous golden hair?!

That's what it's all about right there :)